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Heath Ledger's Batman is 'best film ever'

Gordon Brown today faces perhaps the greatest threat to his leadership (sic) yet seen; scientists at Oxford University have discovered a massive plate movement underneath Westminster that looks set to cause what one boffin
described as a 'massive rift' in parliament.
Bowel-shaking earthquakes were felt by a number of MPs today, with several reporting a definite movement in the position of their seats. The Environment Agency have been given 42 days to respond to any emergency, a figure which many MPs in the more precarious seats have slammed as 'outrageous'.
Similar tremors were reported last month in Crewe and Nantwich, and fears abound that landslides could be seen in central London for the first time
since 1997. As a veteran of the last major quake Michael Portillo was asked to comment, but was looking so smug that our reporter couldn't bear to look at him.
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